by Carol Dunn
Maybe you noticed the spelling, maybe not. But as someone who spends a large part of every day typing things, I would like to start a nationwide movement to change the spelling of February to Febuary. I type it wrong most of the time anyway. My brain just won’t let me put the “R” in there without being forced to. We don’t SAY it with an “R,” so our brains get addled when we try to spell it with one. I’d bet most people spell it wrong (or just shorten it to Feb), so why not go with the flow and just change it? They put “ain’t” in the dictionary, didn’t they?
According to Wiki, Febuary is the second month in the Julian and Gregorian calendars. This is the first problem. Does anyone know guys named Julian or Gregory who publish their OWN calendar? Whose idea was this, and why do we put up with it? These fellows foisted this unwieldy word on the nation and probably have been sitting back for centuries laughing out loud and slapping their knees while the workforce costs employers millions in productivity by having to go back and correct the spelling of this annoying word.
The odd word itself, “February,” comes from the Latin “fib” which means tell a small white lie and “uwary” which means be careful trying to spell this word.
The second problem with Julian and Gregory’s bizarre month is that it’s not normal length. It only has 28 days. Now come on folks. In that little rhyme we all learned so we could remember how many days are in each month (30 days has September . . .), the line “All except February, which has 28, except in leap year when it has 29” doesn’t even come close to rhyming. DUH. The case against Febuary just gets worse and worse.
And as if Febuary wasn’t weird enough already, they put the widely celebrated holiday Groundhog Day on Febuary 2. Why not? The month is already totally messed up. Other bizarre national holidays in Febuary: Wear Red Day and Play Your Ukulele Day (2nd), World Nutella Day (5th), Bagel Day (9th), Random Act of Kindness Day (17th), Drink Wine Day (18th), Hoodie Hoo Day and Love Your Pet Day (20th), Chili Day (22nd), Dog Biscuit Day (23rd), Bacon Day and For Pete’s Sake Day (26th).
Because I already love my pets, I HAD to look up Hoodie Hoo Day so I would know how to celebrate it. On this inspiring holiday, residents of the northern hemisphere (us), tired of winter, step outside at noon, wave their hands over their heads and yell “hoodie hoo.” It’s likely this has as much effect on the weather as a groundhog. And, frankly, I suspect that a person who celebrated on the 18th got a little carried away and came up with this holiday two days later. Of course, because of its downright weirdness, this – plus Bacon Day – are two holidays I cannot resist.
Hoodie Hoo everyone!