Despite this we stay- July 10, 2008

by Carol Dunn

HUERFANO- Unlike warmer parts of the country, we do not have ALL insects ALL of the time.  We have hoards of different insects during their appointed “season.”  For instance, adobe bugs (September to August), kamikaze flies (March), merely annoying flies (April to October), June bugs (May), miller moths (June), and mosquitoes (right about now). 

    Huerfano County mosquitoes are small, but they make up for it with their vicious and relentless nature.  Under no circumstance should you ever just “shoo” away a mosquito.  In mosquito sign language, this is the equivalent of telling her to go get her girlfriends to join in the party.  I refer to the little suckers in the female gender because male mosquitoes do not bite, they only whine.  Hey, I don’t make up the rules, I just report them.  Anyway, the female uses your prized blood to incubate her eggs.  That’s right, your body worked day and night to produce this precious resource and it gets used as egg yolk, figuratively speaking.  Upon squishing one you can see that they hold about sixty-seven times their body weight in (your) blood.  So the ever-diligent and whining male mosquito that you chase around your bedroom at night with a dirty sock wasn’t planning on biting you.  He was just scoping out chicks and distracting you so the female can bite you somewhere you least expect.  As you’ve heard so many times before, it’s the quiet ones you have to look out for. 

    Mosquitoes are attracted to carbon dioxide, a by-product of respiration.  The best way to avoid being bitten is to stop breathing.  Of course, that presents its own set of problems.  So the next best way to avoid being bitten is to wear a scuba outfit.  No it’s not very practical.  As I said, I don’t make up the rules.  There are various products on the market which are referred to as mosquito repellent, such as “OFF.”  They work because, quite frankly, they smell bad– even mosquitoes have standards.  You will know when you are in a group wearing mosquito repellent because each person is standing five feet away from every other person.  At the other end of the spectrum from repellents are perfume, scented lotions and after-shave, which are collectively known as “ON.” 

    Avoid “ON” in mosquito season, and take heart.  This season, too, will pass.